Having family is important to us as human beings as there is a need for closeness and security. Studies carried out by various institutions have pointed out the need for animals and human beings to have close relationships with their familial relations. It is expected that there will be misunderstandings sometimes in the family, which is not a bad thing necessarily. Everyone fights and make up which also fosters closer relations. We meet toxic people in our daily lives, but how can we deal with a venomous member in the family? Problems come in when you find yourself dealing with a dilemma on whether to separate yourself from your toxic family members, or just cope with them.
The best way to go about toxicity is being upfront and frank on how uncomfortable the situations make you feel. Being frank does not mean that you are rude, it means that you are honest about how the situations make you feel. People are often afraid of speaking up their minds in these uncomfortable situations. At the end of the day, everyone must remember that it is always about their frame of mind. Avoiding confrontational scenarios is never the best way to go because the problem will keep lurking around like a heavy cloud.
Another way to deal with toxic family members is creating boundaries. Toxic human beings often breach boundaries every time, but this is up to you to be firm. This is in the case of judgmental, manipulative or controlling family members. If you are always firm on your boundaries, people will stop themselves automatically when they are almost crossing the line. Boundaries are a good way to keep such members at an arm’s length while maintaining familial relationships. What if boundaries or being frank does not work out?
Separating yourself from family members can be a good way to go about it especially after repeatedly stating your stand does not work on them. If you are younger, it may not be ideal because you still have to live with them every day. Going away to college, or living a distance away is a good method to avoid meeting venomous family members often. Meeting over the holidays or family events can serve as a good way to avoid friction between you and your family. As much as the problem has not gone away, you can afford to have a better peace of mind when they are not always around.
Focusing your energy in something else is another practical way to go about it. If you cannot avoid them entirely, a good way to stop yourself from overthinking is to create new things to focus on. Being around venomous relationships is always draining as this can make anyone have low self-esteem, mood-swings, or even make someone question their life choices. Take your time to find new hobbies, charity works or friends who will take the toll off you on having to deal with toxicity in the family. You will find yourself happier and more fulfilled because your mind is occupied with other things.
Your behavior might also be the contributing factor to feeding the negative energy from your family members. Sit down, write down the scenarios that create the negative atmosphere, analyze your part in this, and think of a way to change your habits that make you be a victim. After doing this, everyone will be able to realize why they fall prey to venomous energy from their family. Try changing the approaches you take when in a situation like this, and there might be an unexpected outcome at the end of it all.
Family is important, and you cannot erase blood relations. Instead of entirely falling out with your family, it is better to get to the root of the problem first. Always remember that family in most cases have your back when you run into difficulties, but tolerating bad behaviors does not help anyone but creates rifts among your family members instead. Toxic family members can often come out as bullies but, they may not be aware of how their behavior causes issues on your relationship. It is better to be upfront and honest on how they affect you. They may even appreciate the act of you saying it as it is.